{"id":3075,"date":"2021-03-31T16:37:05","date_gmt":"2021-03-31T16:37:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/americanmotherscalifornia.org\/?p=3075"},"modified":"2021-03-31T16:37:05","modified_gmt":"2021-03-31T16:37:05","slug":"the-shape-of-an-acorn-leaf","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/americanmotherscalifornia.org\/index.php\/2021\/03\/31\/the-shape-of-an-acorn-leaf\/","title":{"rendered":"The Shape of an Acorn Leaf"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

The first argument my husband and I had in our first year of marriage was over the shape of an oak leaf.\u00a0 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Yes, it was a stupid thing to argue over, but I knew I was right and he was wrong.\u00a0 I knew that an oak leaf was deeply lobed with rounded or pointed knobs extending out from a center line that turned beautiful shades of red in autumn.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My husband was equally certain that he was right and I was wrong.\u00a0 His oak leaf was an evergreen small prickly oval.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

It was a stupid thing to argue over, but it taught us a huge lesson.\u00a0 It turns out we were both right.\u00a0 I was thinking of the oaks of my<\/em> childhood, the majestic Red or White Oaks of the East, or the Scrub Oaks of the Uinta Mountains.\u00a0 He was thinking of the oaks of his<\/em> childhood, California Live Oaks or Black Oaks.\u00a0 They all have acorns, but different leaves.\u00a0 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just because we know something is absolutely right, doesn\u2019t mean that someone else who knows something different is absolutely wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This understanding has been a blessing in our marriage.  But only recently have I learned that this lesson could apply to my mothering also.  I have a tendency to \u201cknow\u201d I am right, or my way is the best way.  After all, I\u2019m the mother.  I tell my children how to do things correctly, because I know how to do it correctly. Unfortunately, that stifles the compliant child, and irritates the rebellious child.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I am all-knowing, or self-righteous, my children have no room to grow and learn and explore ideas.  Instead of sharing their thoughts and concerns with me, they clam up.  Why explore positions when I would just tell them why they were wrong and what they should do right? Why tell me what they\u2019ve done when I only tell them how they should have done it better?  Could it possibly be that we are both right?  At least, I should consider their viewpoint and look at life from their side.  When problems occur, maybe I could ask for their suggestions, instead of just telling them what they should do.  Maybe if I listened more, they would talk more.  Maybe if I valued their viewpoints, they would think more deeply about decisions. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Or maybe not.  I\u2019m not absolutely sure.  What do you think?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The first argument my husband and I had in our first year of marriage was over the shape of an oak leaf.\u00a0 Yes, it was a stupid thing to argue […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[15,107,119,140,157,221],"class_list":["post-3075","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-argue","tag-marriage","tag-mother","tag-perspective","tag-right","tag-wrong"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/americanmotherscalifornia.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3075","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/americanmotherscalifornia.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/americanmotherscalifornia.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/americanmotherscalifornia.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/americanmotherscalifornia.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3075"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/americanmotherscalifornia.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3075\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/americanmotherscalifornia.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3075"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/americanmotherscalifornia.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3075"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/americanmotherscalifornia.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3075"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}